NOTICEBOARD 

I have been so busy writing a book and doing a memorial to Malua that I got a little behind with Tasjazz, but should be able to stay abreast of things now.

Over 36,000 visitors TO THIS SITE in 11 years - join in with your news 

Want a site which will interest most jazz lovers with many older recordings including much jazz -  http://www.eosmusic.com.au/nostalgia.html
 

	The latest from the Suncoast Jazz Club. We have a new venue for our Lunch & Munch concerts. It is the Bayside Inn and we will be holding this event every last Friday of the Month at 12.00 noon at a cost of $2.00 bringing your own lunch.

 

Let's have a few more Jazzers with SKYPE - it offers free Voice and Video phone calls to all other Skype members IN THE WORLD. Download it from the website, and then all you need are mic and earphones or use your computer speaker, a cheap Camera gives you vision as well. Really good.	BROOKFIELD VINEYARD 1640 Channel Hwy, Margate, TAS 7054 (03) 6267 2880 Sounds like some interesting entertainment  coming up 2009 - not all jazz but good. (Click)
Jazz every Friday night at Burnie at Stage Door the Cafe - See DIARY
Want a walk down memory lane for Western Films? (CLICK)

Angela says -  online guitar competition at guitarwar.com.  People can upload mp3s of their playing and everybody can vote on who they think is the better player. Our site has been around since 2000 and has generated a passionate following of online shredders.   (Click) http://www.guitarwar.com

Lauunceston City Park Radio 103.7 FM - JAZZ Jazz Spectrum is a 3 hour long program of Jazz every Sunday-night  from 8 to 11 pm  on City Park Radio 103.7 FM, presented by John Doyer, Stephanie Thorne, Allen Young and Noel Broomhall

Go to ......  Jazz Diary      HOMENOTICEBOARDSearch Engines & phonesVirus CheckerTas Jazz Bands List   Jazztas ArchivesDIG JAZZPLAYING IN TASMANIA    Listen to some jazz   Jazz Links    CD's from Tassie    Clarence Jazz Festival    Devonport Jazz Festival    Geoff at home    Robbie Burns Club     Hobart JAS    Launceston Jazz Club    Deloraine Jazz Club    N.W Jazz Action Society       Suncoast St Helens

	Alex Hutchinson has released a new CD "Clarinet Love Affair" Keep an eye out for it or ask at www.jazzlegend.com

Geoff rang Ian McNamarra on ABC Sunday mornings about The Mighty Malua  Click to hear what MACCA (ABC) thought of MALUA 
 

EARLY FRIDAY EVENINGS - HOBART Any one visiting the state should not miss the Friday session (every Friday) in the courtyard at Salamanca (behind the arts centre) It's free, is run by the musicians, it has various bands ranging from jazz to multi cultural types. Some of my favourites are Red Hot Roosters, Tania Bosic and Shemozzle. It runs from about 5.30pm till 7.30pm. It's outdoors and usually happens rain or shine. they sell beer, hot and cold wine and soft drinks. Lots of musos and all types hang there.	Deloraine is rightly proud of Malua, bred at "Calstock" at Deloraine. Read the story. A MEMORIAL TO MALUA - Donations are now TAX DEDUCTIBLE   (click here) Malua was the most amazing racehorse ever to come out of Tasmania. For over a century, in every state of Australia journalists have frequently compared the current day champions to this wonder horse. A committee has been formed and is raising funds to build a fitting memorial in Deloraine, the town of his birth.
For anyone contemplating using the Sensis directory service number, 1234, DON'T! Sensis, as you may or may not know, is a subsidiary of Telstra. The 1234 number is replacing the Telstra 12456 directory assistance number, but this time with outrageous costs attached: 40c to call the number, then 4c A SECOND! From mobiles its $1.40 per call plus 88c to connect.  By law, Telstra have to provide a FREE directory assistance number , because they are still majority owned by the government. They choose however not to pass this number on to the public. What's the free number? 1223	RECOGNIZING A STROKE Thank God for the sense to remember the '3' steps, STR . Read and Learn! Now doctors say a bystander can recognize a stroke by asking three simple questions: S * Ask the individual to SMILE. T * Ask the person to TALK to SPEAK A SIMPLE SENTENCE(Coherently)        (i.e. It is sunny out today) R * Ask him or her to RAISE BOTH ARMS. NOTE: Another 'sign' of a stroke is this: Ask the person to 'stick' out their tongue. If the tongue is 'crooked', if it goes to one side or the other that is also an indication of a stroke. If he or she has trouble with ANY ONE of these tasks, call 000 immediately and describe the symptoms to the dispatcher.
'Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.'	The Ultimate Jukebox  (click) I think you will like this link which offers you music from many eras. Give it a try - Geoff
I have put a link to Aussie Mike's Dixieland Jazz on Jazz Links at top - you would enjoy it. Allan and Mal - tell me what you think of it - Geoff	Australian Jazz Convention  http://www.lismorejazz.org/convention.htmlLismore 2008  and   Melbourne 2009

	Want to QUITsmoking?? (CLICK)

	123greetings.com have some nice and free Jazz Day greetings cards .  Go to http://www.123greetings.com/events/jazz_day/ to see and try.
	I found an unusual SEARCH page where you can search for Australian death notices

........S M O K E R S........  www.WhyQuit.com http://www.worldtalkradio.com/archive.asp?aid=7936

Go to ......  Jazz Diary      HOMENOTICEBOARDSearch Engines & phonesVirus CheckerTas Jazz Bands List   Jazztas ArchivesDIG JAZZPLAYING IN TASMANIA    Listen to some jazz   Jazz Links    CD's from Tassie    Clarence Jazz Festival    Devonport Jazz Festival    Geoff at home    Robbie Burns Club     Hobart JAS    Launceston Jazz Club    Deloraine Jazz Club    N.W Jazz Action Society       Suncoast St Helens

	HEAPS of good JAZZ Coming up - see the diary
Radio Hope Island which is at Sanctuary Cove on the Gold Coast - have a bo-peep. They play jazz 24/7.	LINKS to many musos and clubs etc in Links page
NEED A CAR PART ??? THERE IS A GOOD website (http://www.autoparts.com.au/). This is a free site that does all the hard work shopping around for you! Suppliers will then contact YOU.	Some sites to try http://www.photo.net/   for photographers http://www.jokes.com/ joke supply www.download.com/    good downloads.
.Ozjazzforum can now be found at www.ozjazzforum.com	.Tips for Saving Electricity (click)
.PROTECT HER/HIM/you FROM DRINK SPIKING If you are interested click here for cheap, safe test using a special drink coaster. (No joke)	.ABOUT SENIORS - computer interests- we are of varying ages, but there will be many jazz lovers of senior years, and they may be interested in this site.
	SWING DANCING Beginners TUES and WED NIGHTS at  The Venue, Salamanca & the Queens Head Ph Barry 62314850
.SWING DANCING  Call Barry on 62 3314 850	. Ozjazzforum can now be found at www.ozjazzforum.com
Justin Sandercoe (ex-Tas) has completely free guitar tuition at  www.justinguitar.com

 

Associated Board of the Royal Schools of Music (ABRSM)
is the world leader in the provision of graded music exams with over 600,000 candidates annually in 93 countries.
For syllabuses, entry forms and information contact: Victoria and Tasmania:Mrs Joan Earle:j.earle@sga.edu.au TEL: 03-9670 3788

TASMANIAN PARLIAMENT These 2 sites could be handy for our Tassie jazzers, especially clubs wanting help. The Parliament site at  http://www.parliament.tas.gov.au and  http://www.hansard.parliament.tas.gov.au It has all the proceedings back to 1992 - very valuable.	PHONE DIRECTORIES You can now find  WHITE PAGES and YELLOW PAGES VIRUSES & HOAXES on the same page as SEARCH ENGINES
Rhythm Is Our Business on Huon FM 95.3   jazz from the 20s to today Monday from 10 pm - 7am  Tuesday we have Jazz All Night.	Call in & see Chris for top jazz recordings.

....MEANWHILE, ELSEWHERE....
 

Go to ......  Jazz Diary     HOMENOTICEBOARDSearch Engines & phonesVirus CheckerTas Jazz Bands List    Jazztas ArchivesDIG JAZZPLAYING IN TASMANIA    Listen to some jazz   Jazz Links    CD's from Tassie    Clarence Jazz Festival    Devonport Jazz Festival    Geoff at home    Robbie Burns Club     Hobart JAS    Launceston Jazz Club    Deloraine Jazz Club    N.W Jazz Action Society       Suncoast St Helens

"...just a spoonful of sugar..."  ( Updated  22/1/2009) As You Slide Down the Banister of Life, Remember! 1. Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an impressive new book. It's called 'Ministers Do More Than Lay People.' 2. Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary. 3. The difference between the Pope and your boss, the Pope only expects you to kiss his ring. 4. My mind works like lightning, One brilliant flash and it is gone. 5. The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom. 6. I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once. The seat folded up, the drink spilled and that ice, well, it really chilled the mood. 7. It used to be only death and taxes. Now, of course, there's shipping and handling, too. 8. A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression that he just cleaned the whole house. 9. My next house will have no kitchen - just vending machines and a large trash can. 10. A blonde said, 'I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off. I was relieved when he told me all I needed was turn signal fluid.' 11. Definition of a teenager?  God's punishment for enjoying sex.  12. As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point the wrong way! These are actual comments made on students' report cards by teachers in the New York City public school system. All teachers were reprimanded but, boy, are these funny!!! 1. Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig. 2. I would not allow this student to breed. 3. Your child has delusions of adequacy. 4. Your son being here is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot. 5. Your son sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them. 6. The student has a 'full six-pack' but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together. 7. This child has been working with glue too much. 8. When your daughter's IQ reaches 50, she should sell. 9. The gates are down, the lights are flashing but the train isn't coming. 10. If this student were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a  week. 11. It's impossible to believe the sperm that created this child beat out  1,000,000 others. 12. The wheel is turning but the hamster is definitely dead. ........................................................................  These 16 Police Comments were taken off actual police car videos around the  country: 16 'You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through.' 15 'Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while.' 14 'If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document.' 13 'If you run, you'll only go to jail tired.' 12 'Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you.' 11 'You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?' 10 'Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't  think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?' 9 'Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket.' 8 'The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?' 7 'Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go  to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop.' 6 'Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a  toaster  oven.' 5 'In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC.' 4 'How big were those 'two beers' you say you had?' 3 'No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can.' 2 'I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail.' AND THE WINNER IS... 1. 'You didn't think we gave pretty women tickets?  You're right, we don't. Sign here.' .......................................................................................................................... About the advice re ruder jokes, I received an email which said - "Sorry Geoff I think your friend may be wrong. humour always takes the piss out of someone. Then there is the innuendo that so much jazz relies on. Little Johnny will always be a bad boy. Maybe you could have 2 joke pages?" - I will investigate setting up a Password Protected page and let everyone know if I am bale to do that - Geoff I was at the ATM the other day, and a little old lady asked if I could help check her balance.... so I pushed her over. A young child says to his mother, "Mom, when I grow up I'd like to be a musician." She replies, "Well honey, you know you can't do both." Q: What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?  A: A tattoo. Q: What's the difference between a banjo and an onion?  A: Nobody cries when you chop up a banjo. Q: What do you call a drummer in a three-piece suit?  A: "The Defendant" Q: What do call a guitar player without a girlfriend?  A: Homeless. Q: What's the similarity between a drummer and a philosopher?  A: They both perceive time as an abstract concept. ..................................................................................................................................................................................... A trombone player and an accordion player are playing a New Years's eve gig at a local club.. The place is packed and everybody is absolutely loving the music .. shortly after midnight, the club owner comes up to the duo and says, "You guys sound great .. everybody loves you .. I'd like to know if the two of you are free to come back here next New Year's eve to play ?? ... The two musicians look at each other then to the club owner .. and the trombone player says "Sure .. we'd love to .. Is it OK if we leave our stuff here ??"  ...................................................................................................................................................... A couple whose relationship was on the rocks went to a marriage counselor who could not get them to discuss anything. The communication block was so heavy that nothing he suggested could make them open up and talk. Finally after several sessions of non-communication, the counselor stands up, walks to the corner of the room and produces a bass. He brings it to the couple and begins to play fervently. Gradually their barriers break down and they begin to discuss their problems and little things that always bothered them that they never felt encouraged to bring up before. At the end of the session, they were smiling and laughing just like old times. They paid their bill and before leaving, asked the counselor, "What did you do? How did that song help make everything work out?" He answered simply, "Everybody talks during the bass solo." ...................................................................................................................................................... What's the range of a bagpipe?      About 20 yards, if you have a good arm. What would a musician do if he won a million dollars?       Continue to play gigs until the money ran out. Conducting A Music Class A band director named Ravelli was having a lot of trouble with one drummer. He talked and talked and talked with the drummer, and performance simply didn't improve. Finally, before the whole band, he said, "When a musician just can't handle his instrument and doesn't improve when given help, they take away the instrument, and give him two sticks, and make him a drummer."   A stage whisper was heard from the percussion section: "And if he can't handle even that, they take away one of his sticks and make him a conductor."

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....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................Hi folks,